If your friend doesn't like your hair, is it a good enough reason to end the friendship?
A reader wrote in that two of her very close friends are avid weave wearers. They aren't vocal about their opinions, but she feels they act differently towards her ever since she decided to go natural and wear her hair in its natural state. When she confronts them, they always say, "If you like it, we love it," but she knows them so well that it just doesn't seem genuine.
If a boyfriend, close friend or family member doesn't like your hair, is it enough to make you want to distance yourself from that person? Have you been in this scenario? What did you do?
I'm in this situation. My husband doesn't like the natural look. I notice my friends will look at me strange if I decide to wear a twist out. It sucks and it makes you feel insecure about your hair. I was at the point where I would keep my hair braided, pulled backed, or straitened just so I won't get those looks.
ReplyDeleteIn the event of doing that, my hair hasn't been growing as much. I have decided to not care what they think. I am going to wear my hair how I like it and which ever way is most healthy for me. It's my hair, not theirs. If it's that much of a problem, then they can kick rocks(not my husband, he'll get over it). Be you and love it, and every one else will follow suit!
For sure- if a person cares for you, they should be encouraging and embrace your hair in its natural state!
ReplyDeleteA person needs to accept you as you are just as you accept that person. You do not criticize them for wearing a another person's hair and perpetrating like it is their own, which seems more appropriate to distaste if you ask me. Be mindful of those who judge you as you attempt to approach your most authentic self.
ReplyDeleteThe relationship wouldn't end on my part, but if they couldn't get over my decision to go natural, then they have a choice to make themselves. They could put distance between us, but I wouldn't! :)
ReplyDeleteI recently announced my decision to go natural...and lucky me, I haven't gotten any sideways glances or less than genuine comments, yet!
If you can't accept me for who I truly am, then don't the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!
ReplyDeleteI have to thank GOD that I have NEVER been put into this situation. I think that the people around you should RESPECT your opinion and if they can't then they do not need to be around you. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years, and he's seen his share of the hair styles I have gone through. In fact he told me he thought that my decision to have natural hair was just one of my hair phases! LOL. But regardless of that he said he'd support me in whatever decision I'd make. And I would make whatever decision I want regardless.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what I would do if a significant other didn't like my hair, but I have experienced negativity from my family.
ReplyDeleteMy sister still thinks my hair is messy and occasionally asks when I will start wearing my hair straight again. This is after 6 years... I simply tell her I have no plans to change my hair and keep it a non-issue. You have to do what you like when it comes to your personal appearance.
my sister asked me to hold off on my big chop until after my niece's as-yet-unscheduled baptism. "do it for the pictures," she said. i politely declined and cut my hair that weekend.
ReplyDeleteI remember years ago I went natural like early 2000. I ended up dating a guy and I had shoulder length relaxed hair. But one day I decided to go natural. I grew out my hair about an inch or two and did a bc. He was gone the next week! He couldn't handle it, as long as I was wearing the fake relaxer he was digging on me, but when he saw the REAL me it was a problem. I really saw what kind of person he was and I was cool with that. I knew he wasn't the kind of man I needed to have in my life, simple as that. I have a best friend who I have known for 20 years since high school, and although she was shocked the first time I went natural she has long accepted it and does not treat me differently, and we get along fine and have been best friends for years even though she is a "relaxer for life" type. Now since I went natural the first time I ran back and got a relaxer like a dummy. I started dating again, and down the road in 2007 I met the love of my life and my soul mate. We dated for about two years before I decided to go natural again. As of May 2009 I did another bc. He was shocked as most men initially are. I can honestly say he is still not crazy about it, but he accepts it and does not treat me differently, is still very loving and romantic as ever. He has not dumped me, etc, lol. We are late bloomers in our forties and still want to get married.....but just taking our time. I think the problem with most men is they are so used to the relaxer that they don't know how to run their fingers through the kinky curls. But he has just now started touching my hair and seeming to view it differently. I know we still have a long road to go, but it will be alright. But sisters you just have to be strong no matter what. There is nothing better than your own natural, God-given hair. Blessings to all!
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