Hair Esteem

Kerry G. writes...

During my hair journey I found similar parallels with my hair and relationship. I began comparing the two elements, and surprisingly found some core principals that can be applied to hair, relationships, dating, and life in general. How this comparison started was nothing more than a mere accident. After recently graduating college, I felt there were some changes that needed to occur. The degree was in my hands, yet I was still not where I wanted to be.

My ex was part of the reason I decided to make some changes with my hair. A year into my relationship, my hair began to frustrate me, so I cut it short. My hair was not healthy; it was breaking off, filled with split ends, dry, and lifeless. The result of experimentation with hair color was a head of messy, weak, damaged hair. I tried many different things: cutting, protein treatments, deep conditioning, and used less direct heat to help repair my hair. With this new motivation, I was on my way to start my natural hair journey to grow a head of healthy hair.

After the break-up, I refocused my energy and started my self-journey. While experiencing changes to my hair, the parallels to dating began to surface. I was learning my hair all over again, similar to the dating process. Conversation begins with learning about that person, what they like, dislike, their goals, ambitions, dreams, and so on. As we meet new people, we try to weed out those who may work or not work; the same way a product may or may not work. As my transition progressed I would see someone’s hair that I admired or liked, then ask or read about what hair product they used, go out, buy it, use it and be disappointed when I didn’t see the same results in my hair. I failed to realize what may work for one person does not necessarily work for me.

With dating, relationship, or marriage we compare others relationship to our own. Through this journey, I have found many reasons not to go through with the process. However, I realized all I needed was one reason to do it and commit to the decision. For me, it was not allowing the fear of the unknown to put limitations on doing something, which could result in something greater. Eventually, I applied the same logic to my relationship. Again, I could have found many reasons to stay, but I found my one reason to leave the relationship. The relationship was not bringing out the best in me. Changing both situations was a great decision. My hair has flourished, grew, became stronger, and healthier. There are still challenges with my hair, but the progress and results outweigh the challenges. As for my personal life, I am more self-confident, secure, open, strong and enjoying life for all its opportunities.