Mysha writes:
My hair journey has been long and serendipitous. Initially both of my parents were reluctant to put any chemicals in my 3b/c 4a hair. In fact, my father was emphatic that I should never get a relaxer. So that’s how it went for my first eleven or twelve years. On special occasions I got spiral rods, roller-sets or my hair was pressed with a ‘hot comb’ (this would last an unbelievable 4 hours before reverting from the pressure of the Bahamian weather).
Life got more complicated and my mom was at her wits end with me running away from her and the blasted comb so I got a relaxer. Funnily, my father didn’t know that in a black woman’s world, a ‘perm’ and ‘relaxer’ was the same thing so he was down with my mom’s suggestion.
I remember everyone in the salon that day watching with avid fascination as the skinny little girl with the scary big hair got her hair permed. For years the women at the salon had seen me come in and get everything but a relaxer. It took three boxes of ‘kiddie perm’ and 40 minutes to get my hair straight. I had no warning of the burning sensation and after being subjected to that I decided it wouldn’t do to cry about the comb anymore. At the end of the day I had mid-back-length straight black hair.
Several months later however, I had APL length because of breakage. For the next few years, my hair was relaxed only at Christmas or the start of the new school year in September. Any other special occasion, it was pressed. I had no idea the amount of damage I was going to my hair. I also gave no thought to the natural texture of my hair. All I remembered was that it was thick and my brother would draw hilarious pictures were my head took up the majority of the page and that kids had school had started calling me 'Cousin It'.
In eleventh grade, I’d given up on relaxers and went hard on roller-sets. My aunt was my go to lady for the roller-sets and so I went to her one weekend. Now, my aunt is infamous with a pair of shears. Completely distracted by an article on Usher in either Ebony or Essence I paid her no mind when she said she would give me a trim. By trim she meant short blunt bob.
I was terrified, horrified just plain mortified at the end of that day. I remember crying when I had to get ready for church the following morning. I actually cried in church. I didn’t want to go to school the following Monday but I had exams to prepare for. My friends were shocked. Some didn’t speak to me. And that’s when I started to realize how much focus women put on their hair. My Grandfather had always said that a woman’s hair is her glory and I never really got his point until that day. I decided to quit the creamy crack and grow out my hair.
By my twelfth and final year in high school I had all natural hair resting right above my shoulder blades. There were some uneven pieces that reached my bra strap that I had trimmed. So from 2003 – 2005 I was completely natural and curly. I got no negative comments on how I chose to wear my hair. It was certainly cheaper to take care of. But I wasn’t aware of the right way to care for my curly hair and just bunned it for the majority of that time.
But at the end of 2005 my relationship with an ex turned abusive. And as in most situations where a woman has come through a traumatic experience, she takes it out on her hair. I turned to the creamy crack. I immediately regretted it but I kept it up since I was leaving for school in the UK. Later that year I got another bright idea to get a honey blonde color and ended up with copper.
In late 2007/early 2008 I decided I’d had enough. After having a friend touch up my relaxer at her home in the UK I put my foot down. As she was washing the relaxer out I saw clumps of long strands of hair making its way down her tub to the drain. Idiot me relaxed it one more time in May 2008.
I was going strong resisting the relaxer but I got weak again in November 2008. Luckily, my hair wasn’t having it. There was nothing wrong with the relaxer but it just did not work on my hair.
I have been doing mini chops on my hair since May 2008. This past February I did my last mini chop and I’m now completely natural with hair just beyond my shoulders. Discovering Mane & Chic was such a defining experience for me. Seeing someone with a similar texture go for it and blogging her journey was good motivation to stick with it.
At 22 years old, I’m completely comfortable and satisfied with my naturally curly hair. I’m excited to see my hair thrive and grow. I’ve started researching products and ingredients to tailor products to my hair needs and I’m having a blast.
