Me and You

A poem by TerraD

I am not my hair.
But my hair is ME.
YOU.
ME can't stand YOU.
YOU have issues with ME,
because she's ME.
YOU.

Why does ME have to be YOU?

Why does ME offend YOU?
Do YOU want ME to be
like YOU?
ME.
She resists YOU.
YOU are not her.
ME.

ME can't be YOU.
It is not Her. She is ME.
YOU.
WE must ignore THEM.
Take back YOU,
so YOU can be ME too.
YOU.

ME is free.
ME is her, him, them.
YOU.
YOU are not your hair,
But my hair is ME.
YOU.

Rock It or Knock It: Sass & Bide Don't Mention It Skirt

This maxi skirt by Sass & Bide features patchwork herring-bone print and striped panels. It has full-length vertical drawstrings in the front and back that you can adjust for a ruching effect. Doesn't it kind of remind you of something Lisa Bonet or Persia White would wear? It retails for $265 at ShopBop.

Would you rock it?

Reena's Step-by-Step Blowout

Reena writes...

Ever since my beloved hairstylist Johnny moved away to be with Lady O, I have had the most difficult time finding the perfect blowout. Oh the horror! The lack of knowledge about the basics of blowing out naturally curly hair to silky straight perfection is unbelievable. The process is very simple, really! It just involves some common sense basics that if followed will insure/ensure/assure that desired "salon blowout" look that ALL women want. EQUALITY NOW!

BEFORE	AFTER

Tara Copeland at Hairlines styled my hair in this photo. Very Oprah-like!

Here are the steps...

1. Shampoo hair with a detangling shampoo.

Suggestions: KeraCare Hydrating Detangling Shampoo

2. Condition

Suggestions: Fekkai Shea Butter Moisturizing Conditioner

3. Detangle in sections with a detangling comb and a leave-in conditioner. DO NOT USE A BRUSH!

Suggestions: Jibere Comb and Paul Mitchell The Conditioner

Part the hair in four sections. Work those tangles from ENDS to ROOT, not root to ends. I repeat, from ENDS to ROOT.

4. Use a tourmaline blow dryer with a Denman brush and a heat protector. DO NOT USE AN OVEN OR A PRESSING COMB! Too much heat will damage the hair and cause severe breakage.

Suggestions: T3 Blow Dryer and Denman D3 Brush and Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum

On a medium heat setting, take one section and divide that section. Then, with the Denman brush focus on the ends, first, by running the brush through the ends and blowing the medium heat directly on the brush. IT IS IMPORTANT TO GET THOSE CURLY ENDS STRAIGHT, FIRST. After, the ends are dry, dry the rest of the section. Repeat this process until all the sections are dry.

5. Use a touramline flat iron and a styling comb.

Suggestions: T3 Pro Iron and a basic styling comb

Depending on your texture, set your iron to your desired heat preference. Again, take one section and divide that section into smaller sections. As you flatiron each section, place a styling comb behind the iron as you go. The fine teeth of the comb will GUARANTEE that each strand get smooth. DO NOT twist or pin up the section. Just allow the hair to hang, as you finish each one. Repeat this process until all the sections are straight.

6. Done.

Since my hair is fine, I do not use much product such as oils or sheen sprays because it will weigh my hair down and get that greasy look. Yuck!

So, Hairstylists! Please try these steps to blowout naturally curly hair, like mine. You will be a better stylist because if you can blow out cocoa butta sistah hair, then you can do ANYTHING!

Nudes and Neutrals

Memoirs of a Dark Girl Like Me . . . My Real Hair

A poem by Natasha

Girl is that your Real Hair?
Well, who else's would it be?
That can’t be all yours
No really it’s all me

When I was a little girl
Little boys pulled and tugged
That ain't yo' hair they snickered and jeered
That caused my eyes to well up with tears

It must be extensions
Or a ponytail weave
No, it is mine
Why won’t you believe?

Dark girls don’t have long hair
They would chant
It’s the length, it’s the length
To my mom I would rant

So first came the press and curl
And then the white cream
Now, I thought, those boys
Will stop being mean

But, no it got worse
And then I was scared
Scared of what they thought
About my Real hair

So then, snip, snip
And cut, cut
I’m looking Fly!

No more of their questions
And wondering why

But later on in life came more of the same
They just couldn’t believe my long relaxed mane
Girl is that your Real Hair?
Well who else's would it be?
That can’t be all yours
No really it’s all me

Your hair is so long
It flows down your back
You have to be mixed or
It must be Yak

How ignorant, how ignorant,
How ignorant could you be?
Hair is hair even on Dark girls like me

Ok I Got IT!
Here comes the Big Chop!
And now it’s gone
No one else will mock

Oh, but here it comes
More of the same
More and More questions
About the Reality of my mane

Girl is that your Real Hair?
Well who else's would it be?
That can’t be yours
No really it’s all me
And so on, and so on
It can’t be all yours
It’s just too curly

Your hair with the curls
They sell that for a price
Well this wasn’t bought
It’s all mine
God made it real nice

Spoiled Strands: Alterna Ten Conditioner

At a whopping $160 for the 33 ounce size, Alterna Ten Conditioner claims to boost keratin, protect and intensify color and moisturize with the power of its Caviar Age-Control Complex™ and Enzymetherapy – The Science of Skincare for Hair™ technology. The product is infused with African Cacao Extract, Hyaluronic Acid, Caviar Age-Control Complex, Photozyme Complex with Color Hold, Italian White Truffle, French Champagne Quality Grape Seed Oil, Bulgarian Evening Primrose, Moroccan Quail Bark, and Amica Flower.


Now, those are some pretty decadent ingredients, but is enough to make you buy it for your spoiled strands?

Britt's "Hairku"

My hair defies gravity
You damn right I'm proud
Can't help it, my crown is dope!

Micro Madness

Tiesha writes...

During my senior year in college, I decided to transition for the 2nd time. I didn't have access to the natural hair websites and forums back then, so I grew out my hair the best way I knew how — microbraids.

A few weeks before my graduation, I decided I wanted to wear my hair down, so I started taking my braids out. It was late and I was extremely tired, so it got to the point that I was almost ripping the braids out of my head. I was too tired to detangle and anxious to do my hair and go to bed so I jumped in the shower and started shampooing my hair. I noticed it was a little more tangled than normal but didn't think anything of it until I started to deep condition and couldn't get the comb through my head!

My hair was so matted and knotted up that I wanted to cry. I used my entire bottle, along with my roommate's 32oz bottle of conditioner and still couldn't get the knots out. I ended up having to cut my hair for my graduation, which would have been a great big chop story, only I decided to relax the little hair I had left, thus ending my 2nd transition.

I quickly learned to ALWAYS detangle my hair from any protective style before shampooing.

More Spring Dresses Under $100

Here are more spring dresses for graduations, weddings... whatever — all under $100.

More Forever 21...

Graduation Dresses for Chloe: Part 1

A reader, Chloe, sent me an e-mail basically saying that she needed help finding a graduation dress under $50. Can I just tell you about my graduation dress? It was the best dress ever! The perfect little black dress: quite a few inches above the knee, pleated details in the skirt, sleeveless with a deep v neckline. It was crazy short, but not indecent... I was walking a pretty fine line. If fit me like a glove... not tight because of the flowing pleated mini-skirt, but it was ultra-feminine, elegant, sexy and grown. I don't know what happened to that dress, but it was hot and murderous. I realize that look may not be for everybody so I thought about a few different options for Chloe. I wanted to show both casual and dressy casual options — you'd be surprised how you can dress up an $11 cotton dress from Forever 21 with just a set of pearls and the right shoes. I also wanted to use some fun options because it is a celebration. You can really wear whatever you want. I guess it depends on where you're going after, when the graduation gown comes off. Some people go to high-end restaurants with their families, others an outdoor party in the family garden and some go to parties with their peers. I tried to keep all of that in mind. Anyway, here's what I came up with for Chloe. All of these dresses are under $100.

Crown and Glory

A poem by Renae...

The lover’s quarrels,
the tangled ends,
the way you curl up when I condition you right…
it all reminds me that
I loved you then,
and I love you now.

If I try to diffuse the situation,
or comb over my mistakes,
you always redirect me.
But as much as you stray and break free,
(and try to leave me with dead ends)
I curl up with you
and protect you from all hurt, harm, and damage.

Others gawk and marvel at this loving relationship
But only I know the shocking truth!
Your cuteness: deceiving.
Your intelligence: intimidating.

Through all the heated arguments,
the nightly romps on satin sheets,
and the warm pressure under the shower’s head
you are, and forever will be, my crown and glory.

Curl and Burn

Sonya writes...

My most embarrassing hair experience was the first time I ever used a curling iron. Someone should have told me that a Golden Hot irons get HOT! I'll never forget it. I had very thick hair, doing my own hair for school for the first time. I plugged in my new curling iron and commenced to curling. Grabbing a huge chunk of hair for a bang, I stuck the iron right on the roots. The hair melted away just like heat to ice. I couldn't believe it. I cried for days. Now, I have about a good 2-3 inches of hair burned clear to the root. My hair was way too thick not to notice and there was no way to style it that would hide the damage. Back then we weren't allowed to wear hats in school so that was out of the question. I had to go almost 2-3 months with this chopped burned hair… or rather no hair. To make matters worse, I tried to turn down the heat and do the rest of my hair and still ended up burning the ends. So, over the course of the next few weeks those burned ends were breaking off too. No matter how I styled it, my hair wouldn't hold a curl afterwards. My mother just screamed when she saw me. She didn't know what to do with it. All we could do was wash and deep condition and wait for it to grow back. I didn't even want to come out the house or go anywhere. I looked like something from Blackula. It took me what seemed like years to recover from that mishap. I've since learned how to properly use a curling iron (some 30 years later), but I still look at them a little funny.

5 Days Left to Win

Ladies, I'm still collecting entries for Mane & Chic's April Contest, but you only have until Friday, April 30 at 12 midnight, Central time.

To be considered, send in your Reader Submissions (NO MORE THAN 500 words) of something extremely ENTERTAINING, ORIGINAL and GRAMMATICAL. 

Here are some ideas for your entries, but feel free to invent your own hybrid. Just be sure it's highly entertaining.

• fictional short story related to hair
• hair-related poems
• product reviews/raves 
• recipes for hair treatments 
• hair horror stories
• stories about transitioning or the big chop
• hair love stories
• funny hair stories
• hair jokes 
• a Q&A along with your flyest curly photo like Mane & Chic 's Featured Curls posts (click here for examples of question/answer format)
• a photo of you rocking your favorite hairstyle and a few sentences on what products/tools you used and how you achieved the style

Please, no plagiarism!

SEND TO INFO@MANEANDCHIC.COM by April 30, 2010 at midnight, Central time. The top entries will be posted on the blog and the best four will receive the Sweet Treat Sample Pack (valued at $25) from Karen's Body Beautiful.

The Karen's Body Beautiful sample set includes:

1 oz Karen's Body Beautiful Hair Nectar

1 oz Karen's Body Beautiful Super Silky

Approximately 1-1.5 oz Karen's Body Beautiful Bodacious Beauty Bar

4 oz Karen's Body Beautiful Luscious Locks Hair Mask

Here are the top entries for the April Giveaway

Short Stories

“Covah Yo’ Head Chile”
* Rachel's Follicle Chronicles: My Family, My Hair
* Rachel's Follicle Chronicles: The Big Chop
Hair Esteem

Poems

Natural Heart (Reader Poem)

Through RuFus’ Eyes
How Many Years Does it Take to Accept It — Naturally? My Hair Journey

Funny Hair Stories

Juicy, Less is More
Hair, A Husband Trap

Hair Love Stories

Essense On Going Natural

Relaxers, A No Go
For Colored Girls who Have Considered BCing When the Ponytail is Enough

Hair Horror Story

The Take Down

Curls Next Door (Q&A)
Nika

Last month, Rhoda won a Hana Elite flat iron valued at over $200 from Misikko. Click here to see the winning entry.

"BrockStar"

Meet BrockStar in her own words...

On going natural...
I BC’ed after a 7 month transition. Even when my hair was relaxed, I used to try to get the “Oprah curly big hair look” or do a twistout because I love big curly hair. Then I started to look back at pictures of my hair from when I was a kid and I said to myself, “I can do this!” I’ve been very happy ever since.

Hair care regimen...
It has recently changed and it was different than when I transitioned. I’ll give both so that it can help both transitioning and natural ladies.
During the transition I used sew-ins to get me through. I used wet n wavy, (my favorite brand was by Bijoux in a green package). I used MTG every few days during my transition and I took biotin pills almost every day. That was about it. Now - my natural hair care regimen: My newest regimen is co-washing every other day. I use cheapie stuff (usually Suave Humectant) and detangle with fingers. I only truly detangle once a week for my deep treatment. After I co-wash, I use the same conditioner as a leave in except only about a half dollar size and I run it through my hair (while hair is dripping wet). Then I put up the top half in a clip and use my fingers to run Fantasia IC gel through it. Then I let down the top half and run it through there as well. The in between days, depending on how my hair looks when I wake up in the morning, I wear it as is or make a puff. To make a puff, I use a stretchy headband that I have cut. Then I put it around my head and tie loosely. Then I slowly tighten it as it closes around my hair. When the puff is the size I want, I double knot it. I us MN every few days. My mixture is a tube of the Family Dollar brand, 2 tsp of MTG, 8-10 drops of candle scent oil (to control the MTG smell.) I’ve seen a lot of growth from this! For my DC I use Queen Helene Cholesterol, ORS replenishing pack and a little EVOO mixed together. I don’t use heat, but I put a cap on for about 2-3 hours as I do things around the house. I wash and detangle in sections.

I’m thinking about doing sew ins again, but for now I’m just keeping it simple because even without it, my hair has grown a lot.

Favorite products...
I’m pretty cheap so Suave Humectant, ORS replenishing pack, and Cholesterol for now.

Hair tips/secrets...
Co-washing has been a part of my regimen from day one. Not only does it make my hair easy to manipulate, but it also keeps it moisturized and I get “fresh” hair every couple of days. Don’t be afraid to trim every now and then. After I trimmed my hair last time (a real trim, the one before that was so minimal) my hair looked better, especially straight which has never happened before. Find what works/doesn’t work for your hair, but don’t make the same mistake twice. I know my hair doesn’t like protein so I won’t use it again. Everybody’s hair is totally different so while it’s tempting to try everything in the world, stick to what works for you. Your hair will appreciate it.

Repost, originally posted 2/14/08

Guess the Price: Denim Ankle Cuff Sandals

Ok, we have two pairs of ankle cuff sandals in denim. The prices range from $185-595. Can you guess which one is more expensive? Take a guess and click photos to find out if you were right.

Malandrino S/S 2010

There was a lot to like from the Malandrino spring summer 2010 collection/look book. Let's talk about the hair. There were a couple of styles that caught my attention: the center parted french braids, the head wraps, twisted cornrow updo and the messy twisted boho updo (all of which are shown below). I also liked the diversity of the models. Here are some of my favorite looks from the collection.

See the entire collection at Style.com or CatherineMalandrino.com.

Hayley Marie Norman

Super sexy Hayley Marie Norman (formerly a "Deal or no Deal" girl) had this to say about rocking her trademark hairstyle...the afro... in her May of 2007 interview with BrianX Magazine.

I've worn my hair natural my entire life. There were several times in school I was ridiculed for it, and up until a couple years ago, I soo badly wanted to straighten my hair. But, thank God, my mom wouldn't let me touch it! It has only been the past couple years that I've truly embraced my hair. Believe it or not, I've had several work related instances where people have asked me to straighten my hair because they believe it is sexier, or more acceptable. I flat out refuse to work with people who have such small minds. A huge men's magazine wanted to feature me, only if I wore my hair straight, and I told them absolutely not. I want to let other people who are afraid of wearing their hair natural, know that not only should they, but that it is damn hot! And, I hope I am changing the stereotype, one straight hair at a time!

Recently, you may have seen Hayley as the character Sienna in the 2010 movie Our Family Wedding.

Repost, originally posted 10/27/07

Men With Highly Textured Hair

Are there men in your life that suffer from poor self image because of the whole good hair/nappy hair debate? When choosing a mate, do you consciously or subconsciously seek a mate with a certain hair type even though you are forward thinking and progressive about your own hair? Do you think that the majority of men and women still only date people with certain hair types? Is this ideology still excessively prevalent in your family or circle of friends? Share in the comments.

Raffia Accessories

Raffia is a palm tree native to tropical Africa and Madagascar. The items you see here were made of fiber from the leaves of said tree. The warmer months of spring and summer are the perfect time to break out your raffia accessories or invest in some if you don't have any. They are great for beach vacations and going to festivals. Raffia accessories add the perfect finishing touch to a flowing cotton dress and a tropical state of mind. See the links below for more details.

1. Gianni Bini "beech" $79.99 – Dillard's
2. Mad Imports Gigi Clutch $37.95–69
3. Madden Girl - Huntter (Blue Paris) $49.95 – Zappos
   
4. Dolce & Gabbana natural woven raffia 'Miss Escape' large boston bag $875.99
5. LE SILLA - Multi strap wedge $853 – farfetch.com
6. Donna Karan $744 – Zappos Couture
7. Donna Karan $799 – Zappos Couture
8. Raffia Graphic Bangle Set $20 – Urban Outfitters
9. Serpui Marie Vitoria Raffia Large Clutch $268–487
10. Boutique 9 "Joanna" Ankle Strap Raffia High Heel Sandals $120 – Bloomingdale's
11. ASOS Woven Raffia Patterned Bangle $10.15 – Asos
12. Bottega Veneta Raffia wedge sandals $820 – Net-A-Porter
13. Jennifer Ouellette Raffia Knot Headband - Black/Natural $65 – Barneys New York
14. Chinese Laundry - Dilly Dally (Fuschia) $59 – Zappos

"BubblingBrownShuga"

Meet "BubblingBrownShuga" in her own words...

On going natural...
I just saw no use in relaxing anymore. My hair wouldn't maintain the styles I tried to have when relaxed and my hair would end up in a bun. I started searcing online and looking in various websites and online albums from other ladies who were going natural or who were already natural and I took the plunge!

Hair care regimen...
I wash my hair twice a week, once a week with shampoo: Jessicurl Cleansing Creme. I condition my hair with Aubrey Organics conditioner. I only comb my hair when wet and full of conditioner. To clarify, I mix water and apple cider vinegar and do this whenever I feel my hair needs it. After washing, I grease my scalp with Nature's Blessing pomade weekly. I then commence to styling and I use Karen's Body Beautiful Hair Milk. I get my hair straightened monthly and to help my hair revert quicker, I use Aubrey Organics GPB conditioner.

Favorite Products...
Jessicurl Cleansing Creme, Aubrey's Organics conditioner and Karen's Body Beautiful Hair Milk

Hair care secrets...
Low maintenance styles, only combing hair when it is wet and full of conditoner and using primarily natural products

Repost, originally posted 12/10/07.

Is Your Hair For Sale?

You have finally reached your goal length. It's taken you years to finally get your hair to where you want it to be and you couldn't be more satisfied. You hear about a wealthy socialite who wants to buy highly textured human hair to have a custom-made wig because store-bought hair just won't do. You listen to her requirements and realize that your hair fits the bill. You have to shave off all of your hair a la Amber Rose to get the cash.

What is the ABSOLUTE minimum dollar amount you would accept from Miss Socialite to shave your head?

Night Out Tops — Under $25

Check out these ultra cute tops from XXI — all under $25.

Rachel's Follicle Chronicles: My Family, My Hair

Rachel writes...

I don’t think my family appreciates how I remind them that they’re black, especially since we come in so many varying shades of brown to cinnamon red and even ambiguous popcorn yellow. There is this funny reaction to my hair and how it curls in tight, tight balls of soft puffs, crowning my head like a halo; I notice the awkward glances and huffy sighs. My father’s initial response to my big chop really sums it up quite well; “What did you do to your head?” he said, eyeing me from the driver’s side of the car like I was Freddy Kruger.

“Oh dad, it’s just a haircut!” I replied. And after a year, I have become an expert in answering such questions from family members. “What happened to your hair?” they say, when in actuality nothing’s happened to my hair, nothing painful, nothing harmful. I just let it grow naturally, which is apparently a problem.

See, me and my hair are complicating the myth that my cousins and aunts like to propagate; the one that says that grandma is part Native American (look at her hair!) and that we have some French in us (rapists welcomed in this family) and some Dominican blood (even though our friendly neighbors on the island are currently lynching Haitian plantation workers as I type). All of these “facts” are proudly exclaimed in bubbly font and various capital and lower case letters on my cousins’ MySpace and Facebook pages. Even more disturbingly, they are being whispered into the ears of my maturing cousins, reverberating in their minds until the “facts” plant themselves securely into their brains, making them say things like “I love Justin Timberlake. He’s so fine and you know our babies will have that good hair!”

However, no one discusses how these undisputed “facts” are actually urban myths, fibs, damn near lies and my frizzy, full head of nappy hair is, quite consciously, infringing on the perpetration of these multicultural myths.

So how do they rectify the problem growing fast and thick out of my scalp? They blame it on afro-centrism, a phase that some angry black people go through or a style that I’m hopefully just trying for a few months.

Any given weekend, my cousin Anna tucks a honey blond, freshly permed piece of hair behind her ear and upon seeing me exclaims loudly, “Awww. You look so cute. You’ve got that afro-centric look going.”

In my head I calmly reply by saying, “Thanks, but you my dear are not looking so cute. Sorry but that Beyonce, blond, Euro-centric look is so played out. Everybody’s been doing that since slavery” .

In reality, I mumble thanks and shake my head in disappointment wondering why my look is considered afro-centric. I would understand if I were wearing a dashiki, but my hair is just natural, without chemicals. This is how it comes out of my head. Every time someone comments on my afro-centricity, which is too often, I hear them telling me that it is normal for black women to chemically alter their hair to achieve a look that has been deemed beautiful through euro-centric aesthetics and western imperialism.

Apparently a black woman’s natural hair is not normal or natural. It’s been allotted some unnecessary significance that would seem ridiculous if we applied it to some other natural feature. For example, no one ever says, “I like your brown skin; it’s so afro-centric!”
Whether I like it or not, my hair is a protest. Its gravity defying texture and uncontrollable tufts springing from behind my ears and hovering above my forehead must be shouting, “I’m black and I’m proud” to passerbies when all I really want it to say is “aren’t I just as beautiful?”

However change takes time and my family is slowly coming around. I could see a change at a wedding we attended this past December where a lot of my cousins commented on how nice all of me looked, even my hair. It was a triumphant moment, I was Rockie running up the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, beaming with pride until dessert was served and someone commented on how the white bride and black groom will have the cutest little mixed babies with cute nappy, loose curly hair and I nearly choked on my red velvet cake. Baby steps, I suppose, baby steps.

Rachel's Follicle Chronicles: The Big Chop

Rachel writes...

My best friend Joanna has long, red hair with perfectly, spiraled, cascading, blonde, highlights that glow like gold coins in the sun. People are often commenting on how beautiful her hair is. In fact, her mom loves to tell people about when Jo was four years old and she was once approached by a woman in the grocery store who ooh-ed and awed, “Where did you get such beautiful hair!”

Jo rolled her eyes and smugly replied, “Macy’s.”

If I could’ve bought hair like that at Macy’s, I would have been first in line. Instead, I spent at least two hours at my aunt’s beauty salon every weekend trying to “fix” my hair. It’s funny because I always loved curly hair and yet I had been straightening my hair every month since my first communion.

Hair has always been a stressful thing for me. At an early age, I knew I didn’t have “good” hair. My cousins would always show off how long their braids drooped down their back, tied up with red barrettes and pink bobos that would swing to and fro when they ran.

I was so jealous that I once tried to get my braids to swing while I ran like those other girls; I was playing hide-and-go-seek and running towards a tree I was going to hide behind. My barrettes were snapping against my temples and I envisioned myself in slow motion like a Baywatch bodyguard with hair crashing and rising like waves. I must have been swinging my head too hard because my cousin, Gino, didn’t hesitate to ask if I was retarded. “What’s wrong with your head?” he said giving me that sidelong, scrunched-up face that can only be translated as “eww”. On that embarrassing afternoon, I never imagined that it could get worse, but like they say, one should never say never.

For Catholic families, your confirmation is a right of passage, and for Jewish children it’s their Bar/t Mitzvah, however for many black girls, it’s the day you move from hot combs to chemical relaxers.

And let me just say, there is nothing relaxing about a relaxer. Now that I think of it, it’s so misleading to call a chemical hair straightener a relaxer, when the entire process is just plain painful. Perhaps, this is why black women almost always refer to it as a perm rather than a relaxer, and only remember the difference when some white person asks why your hair is straight if have a perm.

For ten years, I went to my aunt’s salon, which was in her house and used the Revlon Professional Conditioning Relaxer in super strength. My aunt has four daughters and her house always felt like a middle school playground. There was music blaring from the den, a loud TV on upstairs, a few Haitian women shouting and laughing in the kitchen and hair dryers humming in front. The smell of burnt hair and food mixed throughout the house. The kitchen was always busy with various aunts in rollers eating, while their children sat pouting around a two part sink, one side for washing hair, the other filled to the brim with dirty dishes.

Most days, I would arrive at my aunt’s house and wait at least an hour to get my hair done and then I would sit in the sticky, plastic chair and get pumped up into her eyesight. My cousins, her two eldest daughters, would stare and smirk as I sat perfectly still for an hour while their mother slapped the smelly, white, perm goo onto my hair; no matter how careful she tried to be, somehow it always dripped on my ears and shoulders and her daughters would wipe it off with a towel before it burned my skin. After ten minutes, my scalp would start to itch; another five minutes and my head would get warm while my cousins watched, each with a glint of excitement in their wide eyes. That’s when I would start getting squirmish and impatient, my back would start sweating and making squeaky noises as I rubbed against the plastic seat, anticipating the worse because I knew that soon my scalp would be fully on fire and burning.

I learned tricks to delay these affects such as, having my cousins spray hair spray on the areas that had started to itch, but regardless, it always ended up burning. And the worst part about sitting there, with my hair burning off, is the guilt I felt to wait it out a little longer so that the perm could “take” because if I didn’t wait, my hair wouldn’t be as straight and to have kind of straight hair is the ultimate failure.

I began to consider how, to many people, the words “black women” are synonymous with “strength” and I saw this severe vulnerability that contradicted that stereotype; one that runs so deep, I wondered if anyone outside of us can see it.

For months these thoughts plagued me. I couldn’t sleep. I’d sit in bed all night thinking of how I had gone to friend’s apartment a week earlier with a freshly permed, bouncy, straight hairdo and how my hair had become the object of sincere admiration for a young Brazilian girl named Maya. She looked just like me, with thick short box braids patterned across her head and big dark eyes marveling over my silky strands. She ran her fingers through my smooth hair and smiled, no doubt recognizing the texture of it from her dolls. I looked at her, beautiful and wide-eyed, and I saw myself.

And so on a cold, winter, day last February, I buzzed 20 years of smooth, smelly, flowing, fragile, chemically straightened hair clear off my scalp. I walked into a New York City barbershop filled with men and their sons, watching me awkwardly. I sat in another sticky, plastic seat, this time overwhelmed with testosterone, and was surprised by how painlessly the razor ran over my scalp; breathing a sigh of release with piles of hair growing on the floor around my seat, I thought, here’s to Madame CJ Walker.

Rock It or Knock It: Sabrina Dehoff Gold Plate Haircombs

German jewellery designer Sabrina Dehoff studied fashion design at the Royal College of Art in London and trained at Moschino and Lanvin in Paris. Starting her label in 2005, Dehoff creates thematic collections using animals, characters, and fantastical elements. These gold plated "Sweet" "Surrender" haircombs are actually sold out at ASOS but retail for about $170 per set of two. Would you rock them?

*Click photo for details.

Style vs. Care

Nobody wants to choose between healthy hair and hair that looks good right? We all want to have it all. I see women with very healthy full hair that are so paranoid to do anything to their hair, so it looks homely and boring. Then I see women that have super sleek, put together hair styles, but they use a lot of manipulation and/or heat to keep their styles looking polished and put together. Yes, even some natural women with extra fly hair have to over manipulate their natural fros and curls to keep their edgy hair styles looking Doug E. Fresh. Now, a few women have mastered the art of both and don't have to sacrifice one for the other, but have you? Do you ever find yourself choosing between healthy hair and stylish hair? Share in the comments.

Shakia

Meet Shakia, in her own words...

I have always had long, thick curly hair. When I was young, my father didn’t allow my mother to put relaxers or any other chemicals in my hair. He would always say, “Don’t put none of that in my baby’s hair; she doesn’t need that, it’s just going to mess her hair up”. So my mother never did and to this day, I still have not put any chemicals in my hair. To be honest I use to want a relaxer because my hair was so thick and curly. I was tender headed and that didn’t make it any better. I thought a relaxer would make it easier to do my hair and it wouldn’t be tangled, but of course, my mother still wasn’t having it.

It was a long process when it was time to get my hair done. I would take my bath and when I was finish, my mother would comb my hair out and part it into four sections. She would then shampoo and deep condition each section and then comb it out again because of course it had gotten tangled up again. She would leave my hair in the four sections until morning and then blow dry each section and put my hair in three or four ponytails. When I got older, she would put hot oil treatments in my hair and set it on rollers. I really appreciate how my mother took care of my hair and I’m happy she never put any chemicals in my hair.

Hair Care Regimen
Now that I’m older and take care of my own hair, I shampoo and deep condition my hair every week. If I go too long without washing my hair, it becomes greasy even though I don’t put greasy products in my hair.

On Trimming
If there is one thing I don’t like it’s split ends. I think split ends make my hair look thin, so I like to trim my ends whenever it’s needed, about once a month. My hair grows back fast so every time I go to the hairdresser my ends need to be trimmed.

Flat Ironing
I usually flat iron my hair during the fall and winter because it’s cold and my hair won’t frizz up at all. In the summer, I try not to because of the humidity outside especially in New Orleans.

On Coloring
I never colored or highlighted my hair because my hair is dark chocolate brown — which is very dark. My hairdresser told me in order for me to color my hair I would have to bleach my hair and I’m not interested in doing that.

Favorite Products
I love KeraCare products. They smell great and make my hair shiny, smooth and healthy.

Favorite Stylist
My favorite stylist is Tori. She works at Sadie’s Hair Salon in New Orleans. She takes good care of my hair.

Favorite Hair Style
I really don’t have a favorite way to wear my hair. I love it straight or curly. It all depends on my mood.

Photo ©2010 Mane & Chic. All rights reserved.

Topshop's Peep Toe Boots

One of my absolute obsessions this season is peep toe booties. I'm in love with them. They can be worn with short,s skirts, skinny pants, tapered pants and more. That means you can really work them in your already existing wardrobe.





*Click photo for details.

Hair-Related Splurge vs. Save

When it comes to my beauty regimen and more specifically hair-related purchases, there are areas where I tend to splurge and areas where I save. I typically shell out a lot of dough on hair tools: Curlformers, Super Rollers, Pibbs Kwik Dri, flat irons, Denman brushes and things of that nature. They are things that I won't have to worry about re-purchasing for the next 5-10 years (fingers crossed). I also tend to splurge on hair treatments: oils, deep conditioners and reconstructors. I save by not going to salons, diluting my shampoos (when I use them — rarely) and using cheaper drug store conditioners when I'm co-washing and doing braid-outs.

When it comes to your hair care regimen... where do you tend to splurge? Where do you save?

For Colored Girls who Have Considered BCing When the Ponytail is Enough

Moni writes...

I started my transition to natural hair in August, the same time that I started law school. Any law student will tell you that the first year is no joke, and it was no different for me. That left me little to no time to do anything fancy with my hair. I knew nothing about co-washing or braid outs, so every few weeks I'd go to the Aveda salon and have them press it for me. In between, I'd wash it myself and then just pull it back in a ponytail. Whenever, I did it myself, it was always that barely detangled ponytail. For six months, that same damn ponytail. In February, I headed down to Nashville to visit my boyfriend for Spring Break. I decided to get my hair set in straw curls while I was there, since natural hair salons are a luxury that simply wasn't available in my midwestern college town. When arrived at the salon, the stylist pulled out that damn ponytail and simply said, "Oh no, honey. I can't put straw curls in that.” There was a section about the size of a fist where those limp, relaxed ends had broken away from my strong, healthy natural hair. Although I had noticed that my ponytail had been getting smaller, in all of the work and stress of law school I didn't realize that it was that bad! There was nothing left to do but cut all of the relaxed hair off. When I walked out of that salon holding my new head of natural hair, my proud boyfriend was the first to tell me that it was beautiful.

Jean Paul Gaultier S/S 2010 Couture

Jean Paul Gaultier's spring/summer 2010 couture show featured many variations of braided hair styles. Some of the hair styles could actually be tweaked a bit to be more wearable and others... well, not so much. I especially like the style with the cornrow going down the middle while the rest of the hair is sectioned like pigtails, framed around both sides of the head. That's something I would totally rock on an island beach vacation. View the entire show at JeanPaul-Gaultier.com and Style.com.



Photos from Style.com via Gorunway.com

Hair Esteem

Kerry G. writes...

During my hair journey I found similar parallels with my hair and relationship. I began comparing the two elements, and surprisingly found some core principals that can be applied to hair, relationships, dating, and life in general. How this comparison started was nothing more than a mere accident. After recently graduating college, I felt there were some changes that needed to occur. The degree was in my hands, yet I was still not where I wanted to be.

My ex was part of the reason I decided to make some changes with my hair. A year into my relationship, my hair began to frustrate me, so I cut it short. My hair was not healthy; it was breaking off, filled with split ends, dry, and lifeless. The result of experimentation with hair color was a head of messy, weak, damaged hair. I tried many different things: cutting, protein treatments, deep conditioning, and used less direct heat to help repair my hair. With this new motivation, I was on my way to start my natural hair journey to grow a head of healthy hair.

After the break-up, I refocused my energy and started my self-journey. While experiencing changes to my hair, the parallels to dating began to surface. I was learning my hair all over again, similar to the dating process. Conversation begins with learning about that person, what they like, dislike, their goals, ambitions, dreams, and so on. As we meet new people, we try to weed out those who may work or not work; the same way a product may or may not work. As my transition progressed I would see someone’s hair that I admired or liked, then ask or read about what hair product they used, go out, buy it, use it and be disappointed when I didn’t see the same results in my hair. I failed to realize what may work for one person does not necessarily work for me.

With dating, relationship, or marriage we compare others relationship to our own. Through this journey, I have found many reasons not to go through with the process. However, I realized all I needed was one reason to do it and commit to the decision. For me, it was not allowing the fear of the unknown to put limitations on doing something, which could result in something greater. Eventually, I applied the same logic to my relationship. Again, I could have found many reasons to stay, but I found my one reason to leave the relationship. The relationship was not bringing out the best in me. Changing both situations was a great decision. My hair has flourished, grew, became stronger, and healthier. There are still challenges with my hair, but the progress and results outweigh the challenges. As for my personal life, I am more self-confident, secure, open, strong and enjoying life for all its opportunities.

Hair Advice

One of the coolest things about being a women is sharing and trading beauty tips, but do you only listen to women with long hair, natural hair,  thick voluminous hair or women with a certain hair type? Do you think you can get valuable information from anybody or are you picky about where you get your hare care tips?

Artsy and Abstract Tops Under $25

These artsy, graphic and abstract tops are all from Forever 21 and they retail for under $25. Perfect for taking on vacation, weekend wear or college students and everybody that wants to be fashionable without breaking the bank. The safe and easy way to wear them would be paired with denim or skinny pants in a solid, but you might consider mixing in a spring scarf with a bold pattern or bold color. If you're into edgy, you might consider a skirt in a bold or bight color. You can also make any of these tops wear-to-work-ready by pairing with a cardigan or blazer and tucking them in a nice pant or a pencil skirt. Yes, even the one with the paint splatters can be toned down with the right layering and styling.



*Click photos for details.