The article was written in response to the video of Justin Bieber and Grammy Award Winner, Esperanza Spalding. He patted her 'Fro in the video. The author of the article describes her disgust about the mere thought of someone stroking her tresses, "... my personal space is being violated, that's what. Why would someone presume it's okay to just reach out and touch? On one hand it's slightly defensible: touch is a natural way to explore the world. Except my hair isn't a cashmere sweater sitting on a shelf at Macy's. It's my hair. Ask before touching -- and don't get your feelings hurt when I say no."
I typically don't like to post about stuff like this because it's not really on my radar. It didn't appear to be on Esperanza's either. I will say that I don't particularly care for anyone touching my hair. It's not because of my race or hair texture, but, quite frankly, I don't know where their hands have been and a few other practical, logical reasons.
What do you think? (Participate in the poll)
I would prefer not to have anyone touch my hair because I don't know where their hands have been. You could have just come from dumping the garbage, eating some sort of greasy food or touching someone else's hair - or they can be squeaky clean and freshly disinfected. I don't know that. So, just don't touch. Thanks :-)
ReplyDeleteIt's an invasion of personal space and they're possibly creating additional frizz. If I'm personally trying to keep from touching my hair, why would I want someone else reaching into my tresses?
ReplyDeleteI think it's weird for someone to ask to touch my hair but I will generally say yes. I have never felt the urge to touch someone I did not know. Where does that urge come from?
ReplyDeleteI dont mind entertaining the curious..if they ask. its really not a big deal. its hair,not politics.
ReplyDeleteI actually use to have more of a problem with people touching my hair when I was relaxed. Now, I don't really mind it.
ReplyDeleteIf you can't be bothered to ask I can't be bothered to not smack you hand when you do.
ReplyDeleteIts really just common courtesy, you wouldn't touch a pregnant woman's baby bump without permission would you? Hair, at least for me, is the same way. Its a part of me and just because its there and it intrigues you does not give you license to touch it.
I don't really put a ton of effort into styling my hair so I don't care about touching...but yeah the whole personal space thing applies to me too lol....don't like people in my bubble..
ReplyDeletewho cares.. usually when someone touches my hair i find it to be a complement.. and go for their hair right back... but then i'm a stylist hair is no big deal.. touching my face however is a different story
ReplyDeleteI get people asking if my hair is real, often. I don't know why. I don't have a problem with it as long as they ask first.
ReplyDeleteI do have an issue with people touching my hair without asking. I work in an environment where natural hair is seldom seen or encouraged so I can understand the curiosity. However there was an incident where this hateful woman cleaned her hands with sanitizer and then attempted to run her hand through my hair. Therefore no touching without asking.
ReplyDeleteI ride the subway in NYC - I don't want anyone touching my jacket let alone my hair. Curious that the writer of the letter singled out Black women as being hyper-sensitive. My friends are White, Persian, Arab, Indian, Thai, Black and none of them like filthy, nose-picking, sweaty, coughed-on, hot-dog greased fingers of strangers coming anywhere near them, especially w/o permission. And women in general, I find, take offense to strangers placing there hands on them without warning. Just a few thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI don't care if they want to touch it. It's a compliment to me. I like educating people who never seen or felt my type of hair. This day and age people are just curious and mean no harm
ReplyDeleteI don't mind when it comes from people I know very well. I trust them and whether they understand my hair or not, I know they wouldn't do anything intentionally harmful to it. So, basically, if we have a mutual trust, I don't mind. If I don't know you, I'd prefer they ask first so I can give instruction on how not to disturb my style.
ReplyDeleteI only think its ok if the person asks. I just don't like people I don't know like that just touching any parts of me.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't want strangers to grab my ta-ta's (without buying me dinner first, I kid! lol) willy nilly, and I don't believe my hair should be touched thoughtlessly, either.
ReplyDeleteIf I am cool and comfortable with the person, then they're free to feel and touch. But if I don't know you, hands off!
I mean it really depends... In this instance with Esperanza Spalding... I wouldn't have minded at all... I definitely don't want strangers touching me at all, not even my hair...
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day, I work hard to make it soft so why not let people touch it!
It really depends on the circumstances, the intent and who it is. I just did a post on this topic as well. Please check it out!
ReplyDeletehttp://curlychics.blogspot.com/2011/02/hands-off.html
I think the polite thing to do is to ask before you touch someone's hair. This goes for any part of the body as well!
ReplyDeleteKatie for Ouidad
I've noticed that most women are touchy feely but I am the true opposite. I don't even like hugging and kissing friends/acquaintances ...but I look at it more as a defect on my part.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind at all. I'm actually flattered by their curiosity/fascination!
ReplyDelete