The Answer To All of Your Hair Questions

Having this blog for about 4 years, I get asked a lot of questions about hair. I get asked the same questions over and over again. You can't tell it now (because I'm launching a new site on July 4 and have removed a lot of the site's design elements and organizational structure), but I spent a lot of time organizing the blog and re-organizing it to make it easier for people to find answers to these frequently asked questions. Time is very important to me and your time should be important to you. Besides love, time (in my humble opinion) is the most valuable asset we have.

Recently, I found something that's going to save us all time and money when it comes to our hair. I told you about it the other day, it's The Science of Black Hair: A Comprehensive Guide to Textured Hair Care by Audrey Davis-Sivasothy. Understand that I really know and understand my hair. I am an EXPERT on MY OWN HAIR, but ever since I got this book, I literally reference it about twice a week. I referenced it a couple of days ago before I went shopping for a chelating shampoo and I referenced it again today when I was thinking of getting highlights.

If your hair is falling out or breaking off, the only way I can help you is by telling you to see a doctor or at least read this book. If you don't understand why your hair won't hold a curl, why it feels wiry and frizzy, why your ends or splitting, why your hair won't retain length or what your hair type is, I'm helping you by telling you that you NEED to buy this book. If you're a woman who cares about your hair and you have unanswered questions, this book is a problem solver. Audrey has spent years researching hair and writing this book. Let all of her work be a shortcut for you so that you don't have to waste another dollar on a product that won't work or another year attempting to grow out your hair with no results.

Ok, that's the last time I'm mentioning it. I just needed you to really understand how helpful, time-saving and money-saving it's been for me in regards to my hair care regimen and product selection. It will do the same for you.

Transitioning Questions Answered

I asked you to submit questions about transitioning and here are some that were posted in the comments along with my answers.

Q: I haven't pressed my hair in 3 weeks and I have washed it 3 times but I am having problems with my ends. I have never had a relaxer but I have been having my hair pressed/flat ironed all my life so my ends are very tamed and straight. I have no idea what to do with them! I am doing twist out but they aren't lasting very long and unravel at the ends. What products do you think I should use? Do you think my ends will curl up again?

A: If you want to see your natural texture in all of it's curly coily glory, you're going to have to stay away from heat. Some people are lucky in that their hair reverts to a curly/coily state after a couple of super moisturizing deep treatments, but sometimes the heat damage is so bad that the curls/coils never come back. You can decide to cut them off or gradually grow them out. In the meantime, try to blend the ends with your natural texture by doing twist/braid outs and rolling the ends on perm rods or flexi rods to get a tight natural-looking curl/coil. As for products, you can read 101 Best Products for Curly Hair or visit product review sites like Makeup Alley or Naturally Curly's Curlmart. My personal favorites are any Aubrey Organics or Giovanni conditioners for deep conditioning and Kinky Curly's Knot Today and Carol's Daughter Hair Milk Lite for leave-ins/setting agents.


Q: I read and hear a lot about naturals having to moisturize daily (usually with shea butter) and seal with one or more natural oils. I'm wondering if this is necessary for those in transition? I still have 8-9 inches of relaxed hair and oiling it that often will weigh my hair down heavily and turn it into a greasy mess. Does the shea butter and oil regimen benefit only full naturals? Or should transitioners be doing so as well?

A: You have to do what works for you. You definitely want to keep your hair moisturized and be proactive about it (transitioning or not), but you may not need to do it everyday. My hair is easily weighed down and can feel greasy too if I have a heavy hand, but some people need to do that to keep their hair from drying out. Heavy butters and oils can be too much on certain hair types. You might try lighter oils and leave ins.  Moisturize whenever you feel like you need it.


Q: Next month (July), will mark my 3 year break-up with perms. I've told everyone I know. No one really cares b/c I change my hair styles every other month. But it's exciting. I have yet to wear out my natural hair. I'm not yet comfortable with the look. For the past 3 years I've had braids and weaves to help my hair grow. I use oils and greases but of course my front edges are a mess. What do you recommend to help my edges grow and what steps can I take to getting my natural hair soft? A few friends recommended that I find a good dominican salon and have them train my curls. I'm at a lost.

A: Congrats, that is exciting! First, why aren't you comfortable? Explore that. List all the negative thoughts you have surrounding your new look. Really go deep and figure it out. Try to flip all the negatives to positives. Surround yourself with inspiring images of women that have a similar hair type as you. Step up your game in other areas of your life that you do feel comfortable and confident in. Look at yourself in the mirror and say all the things you love about your hair. Wear your best outfits and give yourself a fashion show. Do it everyday before you sleep and when you wake up. Eventually, if you're diligent, you will grow to love it and be more comfortable and confident rocking it. If you're trying to repair your edges, you want to stay away from high tension hair styles: too tight braids, ponytails and weaves. You might also consider getting rid of brushes and fine tooth combs. You might even see a dermatologist to check for traction alopecia which is kind of common in women that wear weaves and braids often. I don't think going to a Dominican Salon is the answer if you're trying to repair your edges, they use round brushes and a lot of heat. If you're serious about repairing that damage, stick to no-tension, low-manipulation natural hair styles. You can smooth your edges without a brush by wetting and moisturizing your edges and then tying it down with a scarf for about 15 minutes for smoother edges without using brushes or gels.

Transitioning?

Do you have any questions about my transition?

I remember how frustrating it was to have very little info and resources during my transition. If I can help save anybody from the drama I had to go through, I want to.

I am putting the final touches on my e-book and it's probably the last time I'm going to answer any questions about my 17 month from relaxed hair to my natural texture on the blog. I originally created this blog to document that very challenging odyssey, but an e-book is a more organized/linear way for me to share and I want to make sure that everything is in there. Of course, I've answered hundreds of questions about my transition since I started the blog in 2007 and the answers are all in the e-book, but I want to make sure I don't leave anything out. So, if you have any questions about my transition or an issue with your transition that you think I may be able to help with... please leave them in the comments or e-mail them to info@maneandchic.com.

The Science of Black Hair: A Comprehensive Guide to Textured Hair Care

Can I be frank with you? I don't take hair advice from very many people. I really have to trust the person I'm taking advice from and the person really has to know what they are talking about. One of the people that I trust implicitly when it comes to high texture hair know-how is Audrey Davis-Sivasothy. I have learned so much from her articles, so I was so excited to get her new book entitled The Science of Black Hair: A Comprehensive Guide to Textured Hair Care.

Just browsing through and reading some of the chapters, I can already tell you that this is a must have reference book for women with high texture hair. In the book, Audrey actually lists recommended products based on what they can do for your hair's protein/moisture balance. The book is very technical, but also insanely practical and straight-forward. If you want to know the science of how our hair thrives and flourishes, get this book. It literally is a text book for managing high texture hair. You'll read about the hair structure, scalp structure, porosity, building healthy hair regimens, product selection, coloring, transitioning, hair care for children and so much more.

I've said this before and I'll say it again, good hair books are an investment and well worth every penny you spend on them. When you splurge on a $25 hair product, you and I both know that sometimes it's a hit, but a lot of times... it's a miss. With books like this, you actually get the knowledge you need to make more informed decisions as a consumer and save yourself time and money on your hair. So, before you take another trip to Ricky's, Whole Foods, Sephora or Target to hoard hair products that may or may not work, I highly recommend that you invest in this book. I certainly will be keeping my copy of the book bedside while on my journey to waist length.

Dark Circle Cure, Fix The Inside!

I recently saw an Allergist because I have these dark circles under my eyes that were getting progressively worse. Before I ever went to the doctor, I assumed that the dark circles were hereditary, but no one in my family has them as bad as I do, not even remotely as apparent as mine. I've had them all of my life and they never go away. I took a RAST test (a blood test that tests for allergies) and found out that I am highly allergic to dust mites. In fact, the RAST test has scores ranging from 0-6, 0 would be absolutely not allergic and 6 would be extremely allergic. My test results showed that I was a 4 which is very high.


Dust mites are microscopic insects that cannot be seen by the human eye. They are everywhere and everyone has them in their homes. Dust mites love fabrics: bedding, upholstery, and carpet. Now I finally realize why I was always congested whenever I am in hotels, airports or other places with lots of carpet. I've always had a really strong aversion to carpet. It totally makes sense now. Luckily, there are hardwood floors where I live now.

My doctor suspects that the dark circles under the eyes are allergic shiners. Allergic shiners are a result nasal congestion. Basically, pressure on the nose from congestion causes blood to pool in the veins and capillaries underneath the eyes, causing the dark circles. He said that this issue could be hereditary, but probably because the allergy is hereditary. I'm very hopeful and grateful that I finally know what is causing them and now I believe that I can be free of them. I'm also grateful because I recently learned of a doctor that practices Quantum Neurological Reset Therapy (kind of like high tech acupuncture) to cure allergies and other ailments and if that works, it's cool to know that I don't have to carry Nasonex and Zyrtec for the rest of my life to be free of these things!

Why am I telling you this? Learn from my lesson: when you notice a physical symptom, look within. I can't tell you how many e-mails I get from ladies who tell me their doctors were able to change a medication that was causing their dry hair or excessive shedding issues. A couple of women have told me they were able to catch a deficiency or illness before it progressed. It's not only physical symptoms either, it's your money, your relationship, career and family life too. Our lives are only a manifestations (symptoms) of what's going on with us internally. If there is any area of your life that you think can be better, look inside (physically, spiritually and mentally) to find the answer.

Peace and Love,

Kai

More On The E-Book and Hair Invention

I'm hoping to finish editing my e-book by July 4, 2011, the third anniversary of my big chop. I've entitled it "Everything You Could Possibly Want To Know About My Transition". For this first e-book, I am concentrating on my transition that lasted from February 2007- July 2008. When I started blogging about my hair, I didn't know any other site that showed a transition from start to finish. I certainly didn't know of any hair bloggers with my hair type. I wish there would have been, it could have saved me a lot of hair and time.

I'll probably be offering the e-book as a PDF for $10 to my e-mail subscribers and $15 for everyone else. I'll also be offering an affiliate program so that you can actually make money (10-20% commission) for spreading the word about the e-book. If you share a link with 100 of your friends on Facebook and they all buy, you've just made yourself $100-200. If you are a fellow blogger with thousands of readers, well... you could potentially make thousands. All of the proceeds from the sale of this e-book will go towards a project(s) that I am working on that I will be sharing with you once the fundraising goal has been reached. It's a surprise, but you're going to love it.

The book will be more linear and organized than the blog has been. It will be full of pictures from my transition and even if you're not transitioning, the book will cover the basics I learned about hair care, the mistakes I made, my old regimens, my favorite tools, books I read, resources, shortcuts, products I used and a little bit about the mental transition I had to make in order to stay the course. Everyone will get something out of this book including me because I've been slipping on some of my own practices and this process has helped me tighten up my regimen and get back on the plan for healthy waist length hair.

My patent on my hair invention is still in the works so I can't share it yet. (No, that's the surprise project). Stay tuned...

Peace and Love!

Kai

New Psycho-Cybernetics

For the past couple of weeks I've been reading New Psycho-Cybernetics. It was originally written by Dr. Maxwell Maltz, a cosmetic plastic surgeon. He noticed that even after extensive plastic surgery, some of his clients complained of not seeing a difference in themselves. Dr. Maltz began to realize that his patients had "emotional scars" that no amount of surgery could fix. Many people have very negative images of themselves that cripples them and stops them from living the lives that they really want to live. He noticed it first from people who had distorted self-images of their physical apperances and later saw that it could be applied to anxiety, finances, love and everything in between. Basically if there is any area in your life where you aren't happy or it's not where you want it to be, you might seriously analyze what in your self-image could be causing your issues and then challenge it to improve your self image.

Dr. Maltz also speaks of the mind as a goal-striving mechanism. We have to give our mind goals and orders and the same way a computer works is the the same way our minds work to achieve our goals. We have the power to control our thoughts and our lives.

Is is a quintessential self-improvement book that will give insight on how to overcome many common issues. I'll probably be reading this book for awhile because it's very intense, but it's kind of just reiterating what all the other books have been saying: fear, doubt and other emotional scars are getting in the way of our dreams. We need to consciously strive to replace negativity with empowering thoughts, beliefs and our lives will be whatever we desire. We need to stop running on auto-pilot and give our minds goals to work on. What I like about this book is that it gives tons of practical advice about how to eradicate negativity (some of them I've been doing before even reading the book). Something that you can do without reading the book (and something that I do daily) is to take 15-30 minutes before sleep and/or right when you wake up and visualize your dream life. Create a movie of your perfect life in your mind. You might experiment with visualizing as if you're actually in the movie or just as an observer.

Something else I learned is that you have to make a decision. You need to get all the worry out, make the decision and just be confident and only give attention to thoughts that will support your decision. Second guessing yourself or getting frustrated will only prolong the process.